Living With It

It was April 19th, 2008, I woke up with a pain in my left arm that went up my shoulder. I thought nothing of it, maybe I had just slept on it the wrong the way. This day I continued doing my daily things. As the day progressed, I took my dogs outside, did my homework and studied for my finals, but the pain was still there and seemed to be no sign of it going away. I continued to do my homework, as I laid on the floor doing my homework and studying for my finals, the pain began to bother me even more, the pain was so worse that I had to sit up and keep my arm elevated. Later that night, I took my dogs outside again, and that's when I complained to my mom that I had a pain in my arm. She thought the same thing I did, just slept on it the wrong way. As the night progressed, the pain was still in my arm. I kept telling myself that it would go away tomorrow and I had to keep on doing what I was doing-studying and homework. After awhile of studying and homework, I decided to watch some late night tv. As I watched Saturday Night Live, I felt the pain get worse in my arm literally to the point that I couldn't take it no more. I couldn't take the pain no more, that I just went to sleep with my arm elevated so my arm wouldn't hurt so much. I couldn't sleep. The whole night I stayed up just looking at the ceiling in my room. It wasn't till about three in the morning that I actually feel asleep. Months leading up to this day, I had already trouble sleeping, but one particular night stood out in my mind. The night where I felt as if I had had a fever and night sweats which would later play part in what was causing this pain in my arm.

The next morning April 20th, 2008, I was woken up by my mom at eight o' clock to take the dogs out. I still had this pain in my arm, but it was much worse even on this day. I took my dogs out and came inside. I then progressed to tell my mom again that I still had the pain in my arm, but it was the night of the 19th when I took a shower I saw a bump on my breast. Now, I had let my mom know that I had a bump on my breast. Raising my shirt to show my mom, I saw the fear and panic in her eyes. My heart dropped to my stomach, as I had a million thoughts run through my mind. Both my and I began to cry. I was fearful for my life as was she. My mom's first thought was cancer and disbelief that this could be happening to her youngest child. My thoughts running through my mind was that it was something minor, but still scared. That's when my mom told me that I had to go to the hospital. At first I didn't want to go, but it was for my health that I had to go. I quickly rushed to the shower and got dressed to go to the hospital. My mom drove me to the hospital, during the less than twenty minute drive to the hospital, I prayed that whatever I had wasn't major.

Pulling into the the hospital parking and looking for a parking spot was like a sport this day. After about a five minute drive around the parking lot, there was an available parking spot. As I walked into the ER, my mom went to go call my brother. I had never walked into the ER before because the only things I would go to the hospital were for my annual shots and that's it, so walking into the ER was new for me. I had told the front desk what I was there for. The lady at the front desk gave me paper to fill out with my name and what was wrong with me. I patiently sat in the waiting room with my mom, scared as I could be. I couldn't sit still as I watched "Dora the Explorer" on the tv. At one point, I said something humorous, needless to say I got a giggle and so did my mom, but her smiled quickly diminished as she would tell me that I needed to be serious.

My name was called. The nurses directed me to this little room where I asked some questions, my blood pressure taken, and how much I weighed. Sitting the corner, one nurse wrapped my arm to take my blood pressure while the other nurse asked me a whole series of questions. "When was the last time you had your period?", "Are you pregnant?", "Do you drink/smoke?", "Do you do any drugs?", "In the last 24 hours have you taken any drugs?", those sort of questions. Finally, it was all over and done with. One of the nurses directed me pack to the waiting room where I had to wait some more for my named to be called again for some paper work.

After waiting what it seemed like forever, my name was called again for the paper work. I got the typically questions, "Are you a full time student?", "Where do you live?", "Why are you visiting us today?" and what not. As if I wasn't scared already, one question scared me the most, the guy behind the plexi glass window asked me, "Would you like to have a preacher come to your room?" I had a confused look on my face. All I could do was ask the guy nicely to repeat the question. He repeated and elaborated on the question. I answered simply with a "Yes." Soon the questions were over with and I got my insurance cards back and the guy told me to go back to the waiting room and that the doctor will see in a few.

Sitting in the waiting room again was getting scarier and scarier. I sat next to my mom as I held her hand. Not having a single clue as what was wrong with me. Five minutes became ten, ten became twenty, and twenty became forty-five mintues and that's when finally my name was called yet again to see the doctor. A nurse walked me to the room where the doctor would be seeing. Walking through the cold halls, the room that I needed to go was like walking through a long hallway that never ends. Finally, the nurse walked me into the room and let me know to change into a hospital gown and that the doctor would see me shortly. I changed into the gown and let my mom into the room. I sat on the bed as I sat there, I noticed the look again my moms face. She was more scared than me. Sitting on the bed, that's when my mind began to wander off. "What was wrong with me?", "Do I have to spend the night here?", "Am I going to have to live with this for the rest of my life?" were just a few things running through my mind. With all these thoughts running through my head, another nurse came in. She asked me what was wrong, when did I discover this bump, last time I had my shots, if I were on any drugs, if I had taken any drugs, if I drank/smoke, those type of questions again. That nurse left and told me that a doctor would be coming in shortly.

There I was again, sitting on the bed, and my mind scattered everywhere. Sitting there yet again, I began to talk to my mom, that's when the doctor came in. The doctor asked me more questions again, pretty much the same ones I've been answering. Though, I will never forget how I reacted to one question. The doctor asked me if I was pregnant. I simply replied to her by saying "No.", but the way I said it was more like a "Nooo." That's when the doctor broke the ice by telling me that she always has to ask that question because there are some patients that come in and they don't even know that they are pregnant. After the questions were done, the doctor raised my gown, to check my heart, my lungs, and stomach. She checked the bump on my breast and told me what it was. She explained to me that I had gotten a staph infection and that it needed to be drained out. When she told me that it needed to be drained, my reaction was "WHAT!." I couldn't believe it. She told me that usually that they give medication or that it would surgically needed to be drained. I begged and pleaded for the medication option, but all the doctor could tell me was it would depend. After checking my bump out she had asked me if I had run a high fever at one point, I told her that I hadn't, afterward she said that another doctor would come in.

Once that doctor left, I felt like crying. I couldn't believe that they would have to drain this mysterious bump on me, worse thing, I would have to stay up and see it all. I told my mom that I was to run out the door and go home cause I was so scared, then I looked on my wrist- I couldn't do anything. I had the hospital wrist band with my name on it and a bar code, I knew they would track my down some how. With fear in my mind, my stomach out the window, and my heart beating a mile a minute, bullets of sweat were rolling off my forehead and my palms. I wanted to stop time, just as another doctor came in, this one was a male.

The new doctor that came into my room was on a mission. To drain my staph infection under my breast. Not only did the new doctor come in, but so did the female doctor and nurse who walked me to the room. The male doctor raised the gown and inspected my staph infection. After he looked at it, he left the room to get a ruler to measure it with, while the female doctor went and got some needles and gloves. The male doctor came in and measured my staph infection. It was chaos in the room. The male doctor explained to me what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. He prepared his needle with something that numb the pain and he injected me with it. My eyes began to water a little, as I was scared and in pain at the same time. My mom watched, that is until the male doctor brought a few knives to cut open and drain my infection. I couldn't stand to watch, I held my eyes tightly shut again, thinking of everything and singing songs in my head.

Everything was done. When the male doctor told me he was done, I opened my eyes and the pain in my arm was gone. The doctors and the nurse left the room. My mom told me that she couldn't watch so she closed her eyes too. I looked over to my left, and saw this small plastic pan filled with blood, that was dark red, with a bit of yellow. I asked my mom if that was my blood, she said it was. I couldn't believe that I had gone through all that pain. Laying on the bed, not waiting to move, the nurse came back into the room and had me sign a paper. After I signed the release papers, the nurse gave my a booklet explaining what I had was MRSA and she told me that I would have to wash my hands frequently now. Once the nurse left, the female doctor came in and prescribed me some medication that I needed to take. I got my prescription from the doctor was now on my way out.

Walking out of the ER around one o'clock, with mom was a sigh of relief for both of us. I was still feeling the pain as I walked back to the car. All of a sudden, my mind went back to the question that the female doctor had asked me about having a high fever at one point. I remembered that night I couldn't sleep where I woke up sweating so bad. I couldn't believe this was a sign and I didn't know it. The drive home was less stressful, as I saw my mom happy that it wasn't cancer or anything of that sort.

Once I got home, I read the booklet that the nurse gave me. Reading through this booklet, scared me. In order to prevent from getting another staph infection, I had to wash my wash my hands before and after eating, after using the shopping cart at the store, after using the bathroom, after taking out the trash, making sure that any meat that I eat is cooked well, making sure I don't share razors, bath soap, or towels with anyone and the list goes on. I have always been a hand washer once I got done using the bathroom and taking the trash out, but after reading the booklet it made me more conscience of the fact that I needed to stay healthy.

As of today, I've gotten use to the fact that I have to live with MRSA for the rest of my life and that I have to take precautions to prevent it. There were times that I did find it difficult to stick to the things that I needed to do that the booklet discussed. I am very much healthier today and hope that I dont have to go back to the hospital again. Living with MRSA, its not a bad thing at all. Its hard at times, but it for the better.